My Read-Through of Freida McFadden's Choose Your Own Adventure Book
The Dinner Party by Freida McFadden
Pages: 188 Genre: mystery thriller
Rating: 1.5 Star
Look, I’m a certified McFadden hater. I thought the one book of hers that I read was unbelievably bad and wasn’t interested in picking up anything else because I don’t trust her output speed. But I love a gimmick, and I could not help myself from getting her latest book, The Dinner Party, a “Pick Your Poison” adventure.
I don’t think she is the most compelling writer ever, but I still went in with an open mind. I will allow a gimmick book more leeway than I will a true novel because the genre is meant to be a little bit less serious. I figured it would be silly, but honestly I was interested to see where she would go with this idea.
I didn’t read the summary or anything before starting, so this is my real first impressions reading The Dinner Party by Freida McFadden. This will contain spoilers for what I’m considering to be the “main” storyline.
My main goal going into the book was to live and to find the “canon” ending. I know books like these don’t exactly have one true storyline, but I feel like there’s one that dominates the plot.
First Read: 1, 4, 5, 6
Start on Chapter 1
My name is Sloan. I’m broke. My roommate sucks but has a seemingly very vivid sex life. Despite being broke, I’m not looking for a job so much as a “get rich quick” scheme. With hindsight, we should be lucky that nobody approached Sloan with an MLM, because she’d totally fall for it. Apparently, I’m checking out “a promising site called OnlyFans”? How am I in my mid-20s and don’t know what OnlyFans is?
I’ve had some “legal issues” where I’ve avoided jail time — I’m intrigued.
Anyway, I’m meant to think it’s unreasonable that my roommate wants me to pay the rent when I’m two weeks late. I get that it’s annoying that her parents pay her rent and she doesn’t have a “real job” (she’s an influencer, basically, which is a job I was considering not even one page ago), but you still have to pay your rent, Sloan.
I have the option to decide between standing up to Blair and reassuring her that I’ll pay soon. Unfortunately, while she may be obnoxious, I think I am in the wrong for not paying my rent, and therefore will not start a fight. I’m going to Chapter 4.
Chapter 4
My friend immediately calls me with the solution to all my problems: a waitressing job that will pay for the next two rent cycles. It’s at an expensive house at the top of a mountain. I have to leave right now, in the dark, it’s overnight, and I’d have to borrow Blair’s car to get there.
My own inner thoughts tell me I can either accept the job or decline it because “it will almost certainly get (me) killed.” Seeing as my plan was to survive, and also because I was curious how much this book would actually let me explore, I decided to decline the job.
Chapter 5
The book is trying to make me feel stupid for my choices. “Hey, idiot,” McFadden says, “I told you that you needed this money by tomorrow. And you’re not going to take the job?”
Fine, go on to Chapter 6.
Chapter 6
I lost.
Well, I guess I can’t blame the book too much. What am I going to do, not participate in the thrilling dinner party? In the thriller called “The Dinner Party?” Not on McFadden’s watch.
Before I’m given the official “Game Over,” I’m told that I will for sure probably not end up homeless with all my stuff thrown out by Blair, that I spend the night reading “about a character who made more interesting choices than you just did,” and that I’ll look into OnlyFans tomorrow because I’ve always been interested in various cooling systems. So apparently I am an idiot.
I’m told to restart by turning to Chapter 1. For everyone’s sake, I will not be rereading from the start. We’re going back to Chapter 4.
Second Read: (1, 4,) 7, 8, 9, 14, 32, 33, 34, 36, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44
Chapter 7
I accept the job! I mean, obviously I do. It’s the convenient answer to all my problems. What kind of idiot wouldn’t?
I interrupt Blair’s … activities … to ask to borrow the car. She reluctantly agrees, in an effort to get the money, and tells me not to make a scratch or I’ll be sorry. I tell myself that I’m not worried, because I am an excellent driver. Apparently. This is proof that Sloan and I are not the same, but good for her. And not to sound too clairvoyant or anything, but I will bet real money that the car it totaled by the end of the night.
I take a moment to acknowledge that I am still nervous about this job, but I had an opportunity to pass, and I didn’t take it. This will happen several times moving forward. A lot of the word count comes from McFadden meta-giggling about the genre.
Before I can leave, I’m approached by a starved cat. And I love animals (which is presumptuous, but sure). Do I take the time to get food for the cat, or go straight to the car? I’m not a monster, so I’m going to get food for the cat.
Chapter 8
Thank God that Blair and her boyfriend (whose name is Griff?) are still in her bedroom. I get leftover Chinese food from the fridge — that, sidenote, I’m certain is not mine, because I’m the worst roommate ever — and bring it to the cat.
And onto Chapter 9! I’m a little surprised that’s it. Did I just get to do a good deed for no reason? The book won’t know if I did that long term, surely. Anyway, that’s not my problem. I have a Dinner Party to get to.
Chapter 9
I briefly consider stealing Blair’s car (a silver Audi), calling it a victimless crime, before getting on my way. In case you're curious, skipping the cat just leads you here directly.
I once again take a moment to acknowledge how crazy it is for me to take this job in the middle of nowhere that is paying way too much for what it’s asking. Why am I doing this, I apparently can’t stop thinking to myself. If only I’d had enough autonomy to say no. But alas, it’s my own fault for getting myself into this situation.
Eventually, there’s a hitchhiker standing on the side of the road. He looks a little sketchy, I am told outright, given that he has unkempt hair and a big beard. Also, his expression is “a little wild,” whatever that means. He looks poorly dressed for the weather and must be freezing. Do I do my second good deed of the night? Well, I’m being wise, because this is my adventure and I am not stupid, no matter what Sloan is trying to do. So, I’m going to go to Chapter 14 and keep driving.
Chapter 14
At this point, the book says: “As much as I’d love to help the hitchhiker”? I don’t think so! I don’t care about that man at all!
Anyway, I come up on a fork in the road. Left is inward, seemingly into the mountain. Snow is piled up, which means cars haven’t been driving on it. Right is narrow with signs warning that it’s sharp turns and you must proceed with caution. Sloan and I are finally in agreement that these are terrible options.
Avery, the friend who got me into this, did not mention a fork in the road. Thank you, Avery, for all your help.
As we have established, I am very smart, which means I’m going to go on the Right. If people are attending a Dinner Party, I’m assuming they’re already there (since Avery is). Which means the snow would’ve been cleared away at least a little bit from the cars going past. So, while the Right looks like a riskier drive, it’s still just a mountain. Drive safe, Sloan.
Chapter 32
I once again think to myself that this is super dangerous and sketchy and probably not worth it. Should’ve stayed home with a book or something. This begs the question: Why were those my only two options? Why have I not been applying for normal jobs these past two weeks? Both good questions that Sloan doesn’t seem to care about.
But guess what? We arrive at the house.
Getting inside is a whole ordeal. And then I’m told that this is my final chance to turn back, because seriously, this looks like a bad idea! Well, Sloan, I’m so sorry, but I only have the illusion of choice. The other option here is to return to Chapter 6, which now explains why we had to finish the phone call with Avery on Chapter 5 before moving forward.
Let’s go inside!
Chapter 33
I’m immediately locked in.
When I get to the front door of the house, I encounter a handsome man about my age. How exciting! I’m annoyed that Avery didn’t tell me that “(my) boss is a legit fox!” Which is apparently how I talk now.
His name is Carson, and he’s the butler. This is good news, believe it or not, because while no rich person would hook up with me, I have a chance with the butler. Even though my only characterization is that I am broke, this feels classist. Somehow.
As we’re walking in, Carson suddenly grabs me and whispers that I’m in danger. I have no choice but to turn to Chapter 34.
Chapter 34
His words are ringing in my ears? Well, yeah, he just said it. I wrote in my notes that this must be a meeting spot for a different chapter branch. Spoiler alert, it’s not, it’s just weird.
Avery greats me and is acting a little possessed or something, but Sloan tells me she can be dramatic so we’re moving on. She tells me the hosts are excited to meet me, which Sloan actually DOES see as strange, and leads us away. Carson doesn’t do or say anything. Thanks for the help, weirdo.
We’re also told that this is a meeting of the “Adventurous Eater’s Club” where they eat all kinds of exotic animals. Like, ostriches or something, Avery guesses. At this point, my guess is people.
We meet the host, who is, yes, just as weird as everyone else we’ve met so far. His name is Davenport Wentworth. Not exactly subtle, I’ll tell you that much. Because that is a rich person’s name. It’s also the name of someone who definitely eats people, but I digress.
I wrote that in my notes and then turned the page and where it says he took my hand and kissed it. Except it was more of a lick. McFadden, I’m obsessed with your predictability.
Sloan is introduced to everybody but I am not, except for another obviously rich guy named Heinrich van Houten. Sure. He tells us he cannot wait for me to be served to them. It’s corrected, but even Sloan says “Okay…” so at least she and I are finally on the same page. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far. But I think we’re at least in the same book.
Davenport Wentworth tells me that before I am shown the kitchen, I need to get a photo taken for my ID badge. Sloan thinks this is odd because it’s one night. I agree, for the record. But what is arguing going to do? Not get me eaten?
But this felt like a moment of “how much control is the book going to give me, really?” So I chose to refuse.
Chapter 36
Everyone gets immediately weird about me refusing this photo. Sloan acknowledges that now it feels like a big deal over nothing, but we’ve made up our mind. Heinrich van Houten finds my photos all over social media, and everyone moves on. This means we’re heading to Chapter 37 to look at the dining room.
Except … no I’m not. Why was this a choice? The photo thing gives me a choice between Chapters 35 and 36. Do they both lead to Chapter 37?
I had to know. Rewind. We’re taking the picture.
Chapter 35
As Davenport is trying to take this photo, he makes me stand on a scale to get a little bit “taller.” As if that makes any sense at all. Sloan is at least aware that it’s bizarre, and also weighs 124.6 pounds (as announced by Heinrich van Houten). And to answer the question, yes, this chapter also sends us to Chapter 37. In case it comes up again — but I doubt it will — the canon route was us taking the picture.
Chapter 37
The dining room has framed photos of animals that I don’t recognize on the walls. Sloan may think this odd, but I think that Sloan is kind of stupid, so it could go either way. How many animals does she actually know?
Davenport Wentworth tells me that they always take a picture of the animal sacrificed to their meal to honor it. And I’m aware of the fact that everyone just made a big deal about taking a picture of me, but Sloan doesn’t stop to comment on it, because of course she doesn’t.
One of the pictures he points to is an abominable snowman. Sloan remarks that it’s not real. Davenport Wentworth says that it is, and that she put up a good fight. Sure! When told that tonight’s meal will be a surprise, Sloan remarks that she hopes she gets to try some, since it’ll probably be her only chance to eat whatever weird food it is. This is funny to those of us with a working brain, but Sloan doesn’t understand the irony.
Anyway, it’s also hilarious to have a whole choice about loving animals and not wanting to leave a starving cat unhelped only to then have Sloan not care at all about eating these rare animals. “Although you love animals and hate the idea of them being kept in cages, you also respect the food chain and are not a vegetarian.” So, again, no one is accusing Sloan of being the sharpest knife in the block. Also, who said anything about cages? What does that mean?
I can now take a tour of the house or go straight to the kitchen. Why would I not take a tour of the house? This is a mystery thriller. I’m trying to gather clues here!
Chapter 38
As we head upstairs, Carson is staring at me. I’m thinking about his cryptic warning. It’s odd, because while Davenport seems eccentric, he doesn’t seem dangerous! Never mind the photo, the scale, the licking, the “probably kills endangered animals.” He seems fine!
“Maybe it was a pickup line.” Yeah, okay, Sloan. Maybe! How about we leave the thinking to me from here on out.
The first room that Davenport shows us is the “home theater.” It’s a video camera on a tripod pointing at a twin bed covered in a stained sheet. He says he gets a lot of use out of it, especially on Super Bowl Sunday. We don’t have time to unpack that right now, I guess, because we move on.
The next room is the library. It’s a single stack of books piled to the ceiling, “teetering on the brink of collapse.” This room defies physics. Sloan asks how you get one out of the stack if you want to read it. Davenport just says, “exactly!” We move on.
The next room is the “Olympic-sized swimming pool.” It’s a puddle in a giant room. Is part of the plot that Davenport is hallucinating?
He tells me the really impressive stuff is on the top floor. I start to feel weird about it. I can ask to go back to the kitchen, or I can continue up. I’m here for plot, so I’m going up.
Chapter 40
“Even though something in your gut is telling you it’s a mistake” — and that something is Freida McFadden.
He shows me a “deluxe guest room.” It’s a small cot covered in red stains, a mini fridge, and a bucket. He says he’s told it’s like staying in a spa. At this point, I wrote in my notes: what is happening? None of this is ever really explained or expanded on, by the way. Spoiler alert, I guess.
Davenport next shows me a room filled with animal cages. Only some of them have animals in them, including a dire wolf that Sloan remarks is extinct. Davenport begins to argue before he’s called away. On the plus side, the comment about animals in cages finally makes sense. And second, I was right. Of course the guy eating super rare animals is weird about them! Sloan’s an idiot. I’m not saying everyone who loves animals needs to be a vegetarian, but you should surely draw the line somewhere. That’s like saying you don’t care about poaching because you respect the natural order of the universe.
ANYWAY. Carson calls Davenport away because there’s an oven malfunction in the kitchen. Alone, Sloan finds a key to the cage, and remarks how she’s so upset about the wolf being left there. She could just open the cage!
It literally says to open the cage or “to leave the carnivorous animal with sharp fangs secure in her cage.” I assume that means I will for sure die if I open the cage. I know my goal was to live, but I decided I had to know. I’m doing that.
Chapter 41
“Besides, the wolf won’t hurt you. She will surely understand that you’re on her side. Animals sense things like that.” Right.
I open the cage. Nothing happens. Literally nothing. We continue on to Chapter 42, which is the same option if I didn’t open the cage, which means it didn’t matter at all. I love storytelling!
Chapter 42
Avery tells me that Davenport wants to meet me in the kitchen. I start to head there when the doorbell rings. Carson doesn’t appear. Am I supposed to answer the door? What if they — gulp — dock my pay? No one really said it wasn’t my job!
This is stupid, but I’m curious. I open the door.
Chapter 43
Surprise of all surprises: it’s the hitchhiker. This makes me wonder what happens if you stopped earlier, since he’s acting now like I’m never met him before. He asks to come inside so he can call his friend. He says it’s life or death. My options are to let him in or to send him away. Why an option is not to first go find Davenport to ask permission, I don’t know.
Well, that’s a lie. I do know. It’s because this was a minimum effort, maximum profit project so that McFadden could put out something quick that idiots who love a gimmick would buy. At this point, I was just tired. I let him in.
Chapter 44
He immediately starts trying to kill me, so I guess that answers the question of what would’ve happened earlier. “God, you can’t do anything right!” Sloan remarks about me, as if I’m the part of her consciousness that is the problem here.
Avery comes and whacks the guy over the head. She then calls Davenport (not the police) because it’s his house and he should deal with it the way he sees fit. He’s, very subtly, like, oh no what an unfortunate turn of events. The meal is made and served and the hitchhiker is just gone. Avery is cleaning the counter with what looks like his shirt, but Sloan just thinks it’s an odd coincidence. After the guests eat, I get to try some! It’s one of the most delicious meals I’ve ever had! I get my giant paycheck, too. Hooray! And I only had to eat one murderous hitchhiker! The good ending!
Obviously that was going to end badly, so we’re backing up to continue.
Third Read: (1, 4, 7, 8, 9, 14, 32, 33, 34, 36, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43,) 45, 46, 47
Chapter 45
I don’t let the hitchhiker in, obviously. He gets really pushy, but I just leave to get to the kitchen. This is Carson’s problem, not mine.
Chapter 46
The oven is large enough to fit an elephant, which makes my already-abysmal understanding of space in books even worse. Sloan would be upset about them eating an elephant.
The chef’s name is Jacques, and he has a twirly little mustache. Because this is a rich and fancy household.
Davenport tells me that the oven can sense how long it needs to cook whatever is inside for it to reach the perfect doneness. Amazing technology we’re creating for a Choose Your Own Adventure book. He shows me the serving trays, which I remark as being heavier than expected. It doesn’t say he leaves the room, but I have to assume he does because of what happens next. But, gasp, I see Jacques in the reflection of the tray, and it looks like he’s holding a butcher knife! And he has a menacing expression! And it must be pretty menacing if you can see it through the reflection.
Do I whack him with the tray? Yes leads me to Chapter 48, while no leads me to Chapter 47. I’m assuming I’ll end up on Chapter 48 either way, so let’s not hit him for now.
Chapter 47
I turn around, and he’s standing extremely close. He slashes the blade against my throat. I try to gasp for air, but it’s a lost cause, because in every movie where someone’s throat is slashed, they die. I have apparently never seen 9-1-1 on ABC in this universe, because Maddie Han would never let a little something like “getting your throat cut by a serial killer” stop her.
Anyway, Sloan is dead. The last thing I hear is about pairing me with a bearnaise sauce. We’re all shocked to learn this is a story about cannibalism, me most of all.
Honestly, props to McFadden. I really, truly thought I was going to just be whacking him with the tray. But I guess she’s gotta get those 22 endings in somewhere. And it is worth noting that the last chapter’s choice was something sarcastic like, “if you don’t think this is at all suspicious,” which, yeah, okay, but everything has been suspicious and that hasn’t mattered to Sloan yet.
Whatever. That was quick. Let’s hit the chef with the tray, shall we?
Fourth Read: (1, 4, 7, 8, 9, 14, 32, 33, 34, 36, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 45, 46,) 48, 49, 58, 60, 64, 67, 68, 71, 72, 73
Chapter 48
Whack! Take that, freak.
Davenport, who has apparently not left the room despite being basically written out of the scene (seriously, where was he standing this whole time?) reaches for a knife. I run, and I don’t even have to make a choice to do it.
I run through the dining room, and I stop to take a moment and admire the beautiful worth that Avery did in setting the table. Snaps for Avery’s aesthetic styling, everyone.
I notice there’s a new picture on the wall. And it takes me a second to understand, but … it’s … me! Gasp! I’m horrified. I’m stunned. Whatever could this mean? We’re led to the next chapter to find out.
Chapter 49
Oh my God! You mean to tell me that they were going to eat me?! What could’ve possibly told me that?? And don’t say the licking of my hand or the special guest treatment or the “can’t wait to be served you” comment or the exotic animal club in the first place or the pictures or the weight comment or the chef with the knife or …
I run into Avery, who I catch up on my theory, and I tell her we have to get out of here. I don’t suspect her at all and trust her with my whole heart.
We pass a parlor full of the chummy old people who are preparing to eat me, and Sloan gets angry. Should I confront them? Wouldn’t it be fun to give them a piece of my mind? NO, you dumb idiot! Do you want to live or not? Keep it moving, Sloan. God, why did I have to be put in the mind of the most clueless person ever.
Chapter 58
At least, with the benefit of hindsight, Sloan agrees that was a stupid plan.
Avery and I end up at the front door. Avery insists that I need to go to the back door because Davenport is likely waiting for me out the front door. How he didn’t catch up to me in the dining room, I don’t know. I guess because he’s waiting outside the front door.
Sloan points out that Avery has worked here before and would know both the place and the guy better than me. Well, maybe Sloan would think that, but Kendall hasn’t trusted Avery and her involvement for a second. If she knows them so well, how did she not realize she was inviting me to be a cannibalist’s meal? She’s definitely working with Davenport, and she’s probably gonna get MY rent money. No sir, not on my watch. I’m going out the front door.
Chapter 60
Literally nobody is there. Not even the murderous hitchhiker, which is a relief, because I was a little worried about him to be honest.
But then Carson appears and whacks Avery with a rock! A henchman was sent out here after all, thinks Sloan, who is an idiot.
I try to run, but he grabs me and tells me he’s not going to hurt me. Sloan thinks to herself that Carson must think she’s the dumbest person on the planet for believing that. No, Sloan, that would be me for you needing this random man to explain that Avery was obviously in on it.
Once he suggests it, Sloan thinks to herself that Avery would also know that, if Davenport was looking for a person to eat, Sloan wouldn’t be missed by people because she has no close friends or family. Which is sad, but also not true. Blair would’ve wanted her car back.
Carson tells me I can’t drive my car out of the gate because Davenport wouldn’t let me just go. I can either go to my car or follow Carson into a little hole in the fence that would, apparently, be a perfect place to kill someone. But can I really trust this guy? This stranger, who I’ve only just met? And he did knock my best friend out!
Sloan, you’re so lucky I’m here. Carson, let’s just go.
Chapter 64
And who do we run into but Mr. Hitchhiker! Again! He IS back!
He’s trying to tell me that he overheard the cannibals talking and that they know Carson’s plan and are waiting to kill both of us. He wants me to follow him instead. It is funny that there’s this entirely unrelated serial killer out here. Obviously I’m staying with Carson.
Chapter 67
We get out, just like Carson said, with no issues. So Sloan decides to create one. Why does Carson say he didn’t know what was going on, but already has a car waiting off the property? What’s he hiding?
Suddenly, the clouds shift. Carson falls to the ground. He’s suddenly covered in fur.
Carson …
... is a werewolf.
There are no choices. We go onward.
Chapter 68
Sloan’s most immediate thought is that it’s weird how so many romance readers are attracted to werewolves, but now she kind of gets it. Okay, Sloan. I, personally, have other questions, but you’re the one ultimately driving this bus I guess.
He tells us that he figured we would understand, since he could tell immediately that we’re a lover of animals. “He’s right. [I] do love animals.” Conditionally, arguably, but whatever. Yes, animal rights.
We’re grateful to him for saving us. The reason he’s here is because his sister went missing, and he tracked the scent here. He was waiting for a meeting of the club to take them all down, but he figures now he’ll come back later. I guess we’re not that concerned about our missing sister.
Anyway, the question is if we want to have sex with the werewolf. Does McFadden write sex? I guess we’re going to find out, because I’m obviously going to pick yes.
Chapter 71
Okay, freak, we’re actually not going to have sex with the werewolf. They kiss, it’s the best kiss Sloan’s ever had despite it involving a snout, but he’s planning to wait for marriage. “Of course,” the dialogue says. He figures the right woman will understand. He asks if I’m that woman. I say yes. I think to myself that maybe he’ll change his mind. Girlboss. The rational part of my brain (aka the part that Sloan isn’t involved in) is just glad we’re not actually having sex with the werewolf.
We drive away. We sleep in separate bedrooms of his mansion, which he apparently has, until our wedding day. Only wolves attend. Then we have sex, and it’s both amazing and off page. We’re all having a good time this way. Anyway, Sloan and Carson are both hungry. He wants to go get food, because a hungry werewolf is dangerous. I want to get it for him. Do I get the food, or do I let Carson bring me the food?
Well, considering I’m still aware that this is a story about a cannibalistic dinner party, I kind of want to insist that I get it. But I guess I’ll let him? Wait on me? It is my wedding, after all.
(As a side note, I read 72 since it was right here, and yes, he does eat me.)
Chapter 73
He gets me ice cream. What a guy. We eat it together, dreaming of the future. What a perfect ending.
It was at this point that I thought to myself, you know, I ordered this book based off a Twitter post of a Facebook screenshot. … Did I get scammed? Is this a real Freida McFadden book? What did I just read??
I checked. She posted about it on her real account. This is a real book. By real New York Times Best Selling Author Freida McFadden. And the big climactic ending is the butler is a werewolf that Sloan is super horny for.
Sure.
I can respect an author taking the time to let her hair down and do something silly (I believe this was announced on April Fools Day, which, yeah, makes sense). But what are we doing? A werewolf? That I almost had to have sex with? What happened to the cannibals? Did he ever get his sister back? I guess I messed it up by trying to have sex with the werewolf. I let my curiosity blind me. Maybe not being unreasonably horny gives the answers I desire.
Fifth Read: (1, 4, 7, 8, 9, 14, 32, 33, 34, 36, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 45, 46, 48, 49, 58, 60, 64, 67, 68), 69, 70
Chapter 69
Oh, sure, the werewolf does have a mansion and is a billionaire because of bitcoin.
It gives me one last chance to mate with the werewolf, but I’m holding my own.
Chapter 70
I immediately regret not mating with the werewolf. Twice, actually. Leave me alone, book.
The rules for werewolves don’t make sense, because he’s back to human mode by the time we get home. He is wearing pants. Sloan decides not to question this.
I arrive at my home. I do not have Blair’s car, but Carson has given me the money I was promised. Thank you, billionaire werewolf not-boyfriend.
Blair is pissed that I don’t have her car. She runs at me with a selfie stick that has a sharp point of some kind attached to the end. She impales me in the chest. I die. At least I got a good selfie, the book says.
So, no. No more answers regarding the cannibals.
Overall Thoughts
I don’t read a lot of Choose Your Own Adventure Books, so I don’t know the ins and outs of the genre. But I don’t think McFadden was writing for those readers as much as her own thriller fans. I am a thriller fan. I’m also a big fan of To Be or Not To Be, which is a retelling of Hamlet that is a Choose Your Own Adventure. I love this book because of how many storylines there are. There are over 500 sections, and any given read will have you flipping back and forth through the book. If you map it out, I’m sure it’s not as hectic as it feels, but I spent a whole day reading it when I first got it and still don’t think I’ve actually gotten all of the endings.
When I compare this to The Dinner Party, it’s an entirely different experience. After I did my primary read, I went through and mapped out the whole story. For your viewing pleasure (this will contain spoilers, so don't zoom in if you're worried):
This book is very linear, with only one choice that would send you backwards. I saw a lot of other reviews say they gave up on the choices and just read it straight through, which is both very much not in the spirit of things and also totally possible.
Generally, the idea is that you can reread the book over and over — at least 22 times — and have a new experience. But that’s just not possible with these books. Most “branches” in this book just kill you. Only two choices actually dramatically change the plot. If you were to fully reread from the beginning 22 times, you’d basically be rereading the same thing over and over. There are also a handful of times where your choice doesn’t matter in one way or another, either because the divergence immediately reconnects (like with the photo choice) or because going on the divergence is the equivalent of the scenic route (like with the cat).
I think this is unfortunate. A true mystery thriller in a Choose Your Own Adventure format could be really interesting, where the divergences actually reward you for learning more about the story. Yes, in my main read through there was information I was missing. But it was mostly just quick gags, nothing actually important. The house tour means nothing. There’s no conclusion to the cannibals. The only route that feels like it has a genuine conclusion (instead of just an ending) is one hitchhiker related ending. To be clear, there are five related to him, and only one actually gives you the satisfying conclusion. Most endings are just a quick death. There are five “good” endings, but even those don’t feel like a real conclusion. The “good ending” I got in my first read through dropped so many plots.
I wish this book had embraced the style more. It felt like a cash grab, an excuse for McFadden to write something quick and barely thought-out, not like an innovative way to tell a story. Maybe she just wanted to be silly, which is also fine, but it’s not like the humor was particularly entertaining either. I guess I'm not the target for absurdist humor, but after the initial werewolf reveal that admittedly did make me laugh out loud, it wasn’t funny anymore. Just bizarre. It’s the illusion of choice to sell a gimmick.
Also, I did not like Sloan. She’s clueless. In the prologue, McFadden tells me that this is my opportunity to own a thriller story. You don’t like when a main character does something crazy? Well, now it’s on YOU! But Sloan doesn’t seem to know anything. Every choice was just “do you have survival skills.” Thank God I was there with her through this or she would’ve gotten herself killed!
But also, Sloan was nothing. Did McFadden want the narrator to feel like me? Because it certainly wasn’t. She wasn’t distinct enough for me to want to embody her, as if I were playing a video game. There was no personality to her because she was supposed to be vague enough to be me, but she was given enough characterization that made her distinctly not me. Which just made her not much of anything.
I enjoyed the afternoon that I spent reading this book, but only in an unkind way. It’s made me want to hunt down a truly good Choose Your Own Adventure book, because this idea had a lot of potential. It was just not executed in any way that felt engaging. It was lazy and absurd for the sake of it and far too linear.
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