Book Thoughts: "Blank Spaces" by Cass Lennox

CW: NSFW (talking about sex, general book themes, nothing too graphic), vague acephobia

This is the first book I've ever read with real, outright asexual representation, and that might be one of the reasons I'm going to give it such a glowing review. To be fair, though, I did really enjoy it for the plot too.

"Blank Spaces" is about two men, Vaughn Hargrave and Jonah Sondern. Vaughn is a rich wanna-be artist who works at a gallery. When pieces start going missing, he's introduced to Jonah, one of the insurance investigators on the case. They quickly realize that they are very different people: Vaughn doesn't care much for sex, and Jonah cares for it pretty exclusively. The two have to navigate their feelings for each other and balance it with their very different sexual needs.

This book is a romance book, which is not my usual genre -- although, if we're being honest, I might read more romance books if the main characters didn't care so much about sex. Honestly, the book reminded me a lot of those cheesy Christmas romcoms, just probably a bit more graphic and queer. The point is, don't go into this expecting a groundbreaking story. It's a romance novel. It's sweet and wraps itself up in a nice little bow when it's done.

You should be warned: this book talks a lot about sex. Obviously, it's largely about Vaughn coming to terms with his asexuality, which means there's a lot of talk about sex. On the other end of the spectrum, Jonah spends a lot of time thinking about, discussing, and having hook ups. I'm not particularly a huge fan of sex scenes in books, but for some reason this was okay. I think that, for me personally, the fact that it was almost always approached with an ace lens made it more tolerable. I'm not really sure. But you should be aware that this book does talk about sex pretty graphically throughout, and if you're uncomfortable with that, you might want to just not read it.

If you're okay with the content and genre, I would really recommend this book as a good example of asexuality. I cannot give this book enough praise -- clearly. It's not perfect, but it's a fun read and provides really needed representation.

Now, I want to talk more about specifically why I like the book, but I can't do that without spoiling it. So this is your official warning. I am about to spoil "Blank Spaces" by Cass Lennox. If you play on reading this book and want to go in blind, do not keep reading. Come back later.

Okay, are we all on the same page? Good.

First, I absolutely adore Vaughn. Him and I are not exactly alike, but we share pretty similar feelings when it comes to our asexuality. In one of his first real conversations with Jonah, they end up getting into an argument because Jonah insists that Vaughn is flirting with him, but Vaughn couldn't be more oblivious. I'm not sure if this is a universal asexual experience, but it certainly made sense to me. I've had my fair share of situations where I just completely miss that flirting is occurring. It's a little moment, but it really resonated with me.

The other really big scene that I connected with Vaughn was when he first discovered asexuality from overhearing people talking at a party. Seeing that realization from him that (1) there's a word to describe his feelings and (2) there are other people like him made me cry. A lot. He proceeds to spend all night researching asexuality and the community, finding that there's a whole variety of ace people out there. It's such a special moment, and it's so wonderful to see him finally understand that his dislike of sex isn't a problem.

I have to give props to Jonah too, though, in probably my favorite scene in the book. Jonah comes over to Vaughn's house and Vaughn has to shut down any potential for sex by coming out as asexual. The whole conversation was great, but Jonah's attitude in particular was fantastic. The scene was told from his point of view, so we could see someone trying to understand asexuality in real time. He asked questions to understand Vaughn's experience and tried really hard to be respectful, which was of course good to see. But the reason I loved it so much is how he took the burden of education onto himself. He specifically wrote down notes of terms to look up later. Jonah recognized that Vaughn's asexuality wasn't about himself.

Throughout the book, Vaughn's asexuality is never treated as a problem that he's creating for Jonah. Well, not by any other characters (don't we all have some internalized acephobia that we have to overcome? More on that later). Jonah, as he's closer to considering a real relationship with Vaughn, views his own intense sexual need as the problem, and he never once tries to tell Vaughn that his asexuality is an inconvenience for him. Of course Jonah's needs shouldn't be a burden either. However, it's such a common feeling amongst ace people who aren't interested in sex (Vaughn included) that we're depriving our potential partners of something. It was nice that those feelings were never put on him by Jonah. Their incompatibility is the problem, not the asexuality.

While I say Jonah never expressed those sentiments, they did exist from Vaughn himself. Which I think it pretty normal, honestly. Sex is so ingrained into our culture that it's seen as a necessity in relationships. I've talked about this before, and I can go more in-depth if people want me to. But I think the important part for this conversation is that Vaughn having to teach himself that he is worthy of a relationship -- that he isn't depriving anyone of anything, and that he is just as deserving of love. Finishing the book, where Jonah and Vaughn have found a comfortable dynamic that suits the both of them, was really touching to me as an ace person. This is why representation matters so much: this was the first time that I've actually seen someone like me get the happy, cheesy romcom ending. And he didn't reach this conclusion in spite of being ace. He's loved for exactly the person that he is, including his asexuality.

If you like romance books, don't mind it being NSFW, and want to learn more about one aspect of being asexual, I really recommend this book. Both characters approach the subject in a really great way, and overall they're both just delightful to read about. And if you've read this book, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

From yours truly,

Kendall